open letter to Rona

Just after writing this letter I was walking to a bus stop when an old timer asked if me I could spare any change and I automatically said no, sorry. Then I thought what am I saying and turned around and gave him some nice coins. In return he took me by the hand and got God to bless me and told God to go with me and finished off by saying I've got nothing and I told him I could see. With that he got God to bless me again and I got God to bless him too and walked off. His eyes were such a light blue. If I wanted to I could have easily started crying in the streets over it. But I didn't want to.
   By the time I was giving some nice coins to a little old lady outside a church I thought to myself what the fuck have I gotten myself into. 
   That street has made a couple of impressions on me over the years even though I've only walked down it a handful of times. The other impression was these two bums sitting in a shop doorway, shitfaced drunk, singing their hearts out You Can't always get what you want! You can't always get what you want!! But if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need!!!



Dear Rona,

My mind's rambling sporadic a bit at the mo
Differing thoughts running as eclectic as the sounds blaring out of the multitude of speakers blaring differing musics in to the air of a traffic filled Camden Road
They blend in to some kind of semblance by making their own semblance of course
The semblance of a cacophony
They have to
Me too
Hopefully
We'll See

I'm trying to be less scared
Eating seems to be an act of courage at times
I'm trying to fill my head more with things I like
There's always beautiful girls waiting outside the tube station
I wonder what that's like
All of these streets signs above our head
You can't help thinking this is what Damocles musta felt like

I dunno, when someone dies I just want to give them a lil hug
and wish them good luck
But you can't do that, can you?
It's how I felt when Chris accidentally killed himself by overdosing on smack last week
I just wanted to give him a lil hug
call him a silly bugger
ask to borrow a tenner
and wish him good  luck

Zach was talking about doubling rice on his chess board again
so I told him infinity pales in significance in comparison to inevitability

Rona, I remember you wondering whether the liking of neon light was enough to justify going on existing
Well plants are canny things
and they sure like good light and good soil
and they're right, these are things which will help you grow
We'll see
Shall we
and you'll always have existed

There's a petition online at the moment trying to get Iain Duncan Smith to live on 53 quid a week
It wouldn't be any good for the petitioners if he did
Because he'd do it
As he'd just have to
It's what we do
Kurt Vonnegut Jnr said to his son, Mark, after he got back from a protest protesting against the Vietnam war that they may as well having been throwing cream pies
for all the good it did
All this petition does is show everyone how principled you think you are
Which may have some worth
Though possibly not as much worth as you think it does

People!People!!
You've got to start relying on the government less
And relying on each other more
When the welfare drops
The kindness of strangers has to rise
it just has to

I know being on the side of kindness
you are on the losing size
I saw a fat man aggressively honking his car at someone and knew this
But, fuck it, you've got to be kind
You've
       got
          to
           be
             kind
you just have to

Rona, it fills me with a great sense of national pride that tart cards adorning the phoneboxes of central London are a national institution
Does this make me an asshole?

Love,
     Sam
           x