such a night

from ' Playboy's Party Jokes' in 'The Bedside Playboy', originally published in 1953

"Are you sure this is your house?" the cop asked the thoruoughly sozzled gentleman.
  "Shertainly," said the drunk, "and if you'll jush open the door f'me, I'll prove it you"
  "You shee that piano?" the drunk began. "Thash mine.You shee that television set. Thash mine, too. Follow me, follow me."
  The police office followed as he shakily negotiated the stairs to the second floor. The drunk pushed the first door they came to.
  "Thish ish my bedroom," he announced. "Shee that bed? Thash my bed. Shee that woman lying in the bed? Thash my wife. An' shee that guy lying next to her?"
  "Yeah," said the cop suspiciously.
  "Thash me!"

Millennium Bridge

Everybody has that thought when they are walking across Millennium bridge, I could carry on walking all the way to the other side or

*Splash*

art market

when someone asks you how a Banksy or Hirst can be worth 12000000 quid, the only valid response is, wake up you fool, the question is how can 12000000 quid be worth 12000000 quid? how is it possible that someone can earn that during a day by just writing a price tag and someone else could never earn it in a lifetime? how is it possible to earn 12000000 quid anyway? nobody ever earns that much money legitimately, it is always earned by some sorta fix up. after a certain amount, extra money becomes absurd and meaningless to the recipient yet they want more. they are absurd. are you absurd? why do we even give a damn about 12000000 quid, it's just quids? if we didn't put a value you to them they'd have no value. surely a shark has an inherent value.

first dates

on Glyn Road a crow and a pigeon share a fried chicken and chips dinner over the lines of the road

elsewhere, a black bird and a white lamb clap hands as they go frere Jacques, frere Jacque

BUTTONS

ol' Jimmy Stardust sure knows how to push my buttons

recently a lot of folks have been pushing my buttons

maybe it's time to get some new buttons